Saturday, September 27, 2014

..a few thoughts.

..as I sit here, wrapped again in projects and work, a friend thru-hiked the Pacific Crest Trail..on impulse seemingly. She's did it with a man she hardly knew, with few skills and at great risk to her physical, mental, spiritual and emotional well-being. Along the PCT they married..they visited a few days ago and we shared a meal and stories. I was both encouraged and saddened by the conversation..knowing I have again, placed myself in situations I neither want nor need in my life. I am mired in the muck of this reality I've created once again..and I am abusing myself both physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally..with great risk..the very thing she flew into the face of..and succeeded. I don't what drove her but there was a button pushed at some point..

I wonder were that button is..

I am remain hopeful that the fog clears and I can plan the path ahead more clearly..but one thing is clear, stop doing what I'm doing, stop going down this destructive road..for God's sake, stop.

I have agreed to an exhibit scheduled for December..I've titled it "wearing my emotions.."
Seems fitting..

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